I am the kind of person that loves to throw new ideas around to my husband. We have spoken of money, budgeting and creative ways to create and manage both. I was watching the update of Oprah Debt Diet. I had watched the original show a few years back and never followed up with them so I was always curious with the couples on there if it worked. How could it not work as these experts moved in and results are almost guaranteed. However, something even more interesting caught my eye on the show. A New York couple saved $13,000 by only spending on necessary items. That got me thinking. I proposed to my husband, James, we need to try this idea of one year, only spend money on necessary. He actually thought about it and said sure.
Let the roller coaster begin. So we of course did not start the very next day, it is like a shock or diet. We needed time. (Procrastination maybe, but time felt right). Let me tell you the roller coaster of emotions began for many reasons. First let me get this out there, we propose this might be a great idea on Sunday. Mention the idea to the kids, and my three year old son says, "No food Mommy?" So we try to break this down for his age. And he finally says, okay. "Food is fine but no toys." We leave it at that. I have one fun addictive hobby, boutique shopping and my husband's hobby is shooting. So I have a massage, pedicure, and manicure scheduled for the next day to use a gift card and I even think twice about it and I did not even pay for the gift card.
Well almost in a panic mode the very next day, I enjoy the spa services and head over to a boutique beside the spa and I start to rationalize that this could be it. I could be doing no more of this for a year so what would any other shopper do? Buy the cutest pair of jeans (on sale of course) and a fabulous new top. I think if I can get this out of my system, I will survive the next year. That is not really what I was feeling after, I almost feel and still do, like I need to return the jeans and top. But then I rationalize this is it, I need it. Need... I think not. But darn it and I can't go cold turkey.
So I think that is it, I am over it. Ready? Of course. So I do what any other person would do, talk to my sister about it. I say, James and I are thinking of something and what do you think. I propose it to her, she looks at me with a great look of 'seriously?' and then says, how are you going to give up diet coke? Diet coke? Why on earth would I give up diet coke? What are you speaking of? She says, that is not a necessity. What? Seriously, coffee is some peoples magic nice pill but mine is diet coke. And I am not sure anyone wants me to give up diet coke. So the debate of what is necessity versus ant is blown up. Huge, fireworks, explodes. I start to think, who defines necessity and want? We have three kids. Are there desire to participate in Girl Scouts and karate a need or want? They must have some activities but will they die without them? No so do we deprive them? No. What is the right answer and mindset to work this out in?
Then we have been struggling with the whole idea of need versus want. James needs to shoot because it keeps him happy and a happy husband is important. I do not want a bitchy husband, who does? So is his shooting a need then? Do you say to him, yes shoot but limit it? We already have him reload his own bullets to save money so you can't go cheaper. But really is it a need? We throw around the occasional Redbox movie, is family movie night out? Or seriously, can a dollar movie and home popped popcorn a need to keep the family together and united? The you start to question, is Dish television a need? I can not live without the crap programming as James calls it. I barely watch free television stations so removing Dish would really effect me. We already minimized our expenses when we went through the Dave Ramsey course three years ago. We altered, removed and changed things to the basics really. What else could we remove and still live 'normally'? How do we live? We live in a middle of the road suburban home with a huge mortgage payment compared to our net income. So to be honest, if we sold our house and moved to a small mortgage payment that would be ideal. Not possible (I can hear Dr. Laura in my head saying, I am only seeing the one possibility and there are options I choose to not see them. True but really. I am forty years old, I do not want to raise my kids in an apartment. I know if we sold the current house we do not have extra equity in this market to put a down payment on a new house so we would rent. That is not my goal, however, a swimming pool, no yard maintenance or house maintenance sounds appealing on some days. But I need the kids to have dirt to dig in, yard to run in and ability to for me to send them outside so I can catch my breath on some days.) Tangent... We only have 23 years on paying this house off, we are sooooo close, right?
Okay the debate of need and want...where do we draw the line? This is the stir in my tummy, do I want to do this? I type up bankruptcies for people, it is so easy for me to say what they should do, where they messed up but reality, can I stick to a budget (I know Dave Ramsey, it is just an accounting of where the money goes....but do I want to? Can I do it?)
Ahhhh I really want the lottery to drop in my lap. Well, do I?
Need versus want....three kids... husband and wife and no new jeans for a year....have I stockpiled enough to last me a year? Don't roll your eyes....what is the cost of your hobbies?
So my sister suggested two vital things: blog as you wrestle with the starting of this as you will not be the only one as it is not easy to change habits, mentally perpare and do not make it look 'so rosy that it is unreal' and she said find resources. She suggested a book, I forgot the name already Be Tight by Speas,I think. Plus another friend suggested www.coupon......well something to start doing groceries differently.
Let the roller coaster begin. So we of course did not start the very next day, it is like a shock or diet. We needed time. (Procrastination maybe, but time felt right). Let me tell you the roller coaster of emotions began for many reasons. First let me get this out there, we propose this might be a great idea on Sunday. Mention the idea to the kids, and my three year old son says, "No food Mommy?" So we try to break this down for his age. And he finally says, okay. "Food is fine but no toys." We leave it at that. I have one fun addictive hobby, boutique shopping and my husband's hobby is shooting. So I have a massage, pedicure, and manicure scheduled for the next day to use a gift card and I even think twice about it and I did not even pay for the gift card.
Well almost in a panic mode the very next day, I enjoy the spa services and head over to a boutique beside the spa and I start to rationalize that this could be it. I could be doing no more of this for a year so what would any other shopper do? Buy the cutest pair of jeans (on sale of course) and a fabulous new top. I think if I can get this out of my system, I will survive the next year. That is not really what I was feeling after, I almost feel and still do, like I need to return the jeans and top. But then I rationalize this is it, I need it. Need... I think not. But darn it and I can't go cold turkey.
So I think that is it, I am over it. Ready? Of course. So I do what any other person would do, talk to my sister about it. I say, James and I are thinking of something and what do you think. I propose it to her, she looks at me with a great look of 'seriously?' and then says, how are you going to give up diet coke? Diet coke? Why on earth would I give up diet coke? What are you speaking of? She says, that is not a necessity. What? Seriously, coffee is some peoples magic nice pill but mine is diet coke. And I am not sure anyone wants me to give up diet coke. So the debate of what is necessity versus ant is blown up. Huge, fireworks, explodes. I start to think, who defines necessity and want? We have three kids. Are there desire to participate in Girl Scouts and karate a need or want? They must have some activities but will they die without them? No so do we deprive them? No. What is the right answer and mindset to work this out in?
Then we have been struggling with the whole idea of need versus want. James needs to shoot because it keeps him happy and a happy husband is important. I do not want a bitchy husband, who does? So is his shooting a need then? Do you say to him, yes shoot but limit it? We already have him reload his own bullets to save money so you can't go cheaper. But really is it a need? We throw around the occasional Redbox movie, is family movie night out? Or seriously, can a dollar movie and home popped popcorn a need to keep the family together and united? The you start to question, is Dish television a need? I can not live without the crap programming as James calls it. I barely watch free television stations so removing Dish would really effect me. We already minimized our expenses when we went through the Dave Ramsey course three years ago. We altered, removed and changed things to the basics really. What else could we remove and still live 'normally'? How do we live? We live in a middle of the road suburban home with a huge mortgage payment compared to our net income. So to be honest, if we sold our house and moved to a small mortgage payment that would be ideal. Not possible (I can hear Dr. Laura in my head saying, I am only seeing the one possibility and there are options I choose to not see them. True but really. I am forty years old, I do not want to raise my kids in an apartment. I know if we sold the current house we do not have extra equity in this market to put a down payment on a new house so we would rent. That is not my goal, however, a swimming pool, no yard maintenance or house maintenance sounds appealing on some days. But I need the kids to have dirt to dig in, yard to run in and ability to for me to send them outside so I can catch my breath on some days.) Tangent... We only have 23 years on paying this house off, we are sooooo close, right?
Okay the debate of need and want...where do we draw the line? This is the stir in my tummy, do I want to do this? I type up bankruptcies for people, it is so easy for me to say what they should do, where they messed up but reality, can I stick to a budget (I know Dave Ramsey, it is just an accounting of where the money goes....but do I want to? Can I do it?)
Ahhhh I really want the lottery to drop in my lap. Well, do I?
Need versus want....three kids... husband and wife and no new jeans for a year....have I stockpiled enough to last me a year? Don't roll your eyes....what is the cost of your hobbies?
So my sister suggested two vital things: blog as you wrestle with the starting of this as you will not be the only one as it is not easy to change habits, mentally perpare and do not make it look 'so rosy that it is unreal' and she said find resources. She suggested a book, I forgot the name already Be Tight by Speas,I think. Plus another friend suggested www.coupon......well something to start doing groceries differently.