Happy Sisterectomy Day!
Yesterday I spoke at an international Convention about the lessons learned from having conjoined twins. Listening to my voice you could still feel the emotions of the journey even with it eighteen years ago. Today marks the anniversary of their sisterectomy. Can you believe it has been 18 years? My reality today has me as a “partial empty nester.” I guess I never really thought I would be one of those, “a partial empty nester” especially as I look back at such a magical time in my family’s life. Indulge me as I share one of my favorite stories about this day eighteen years ago.
About two weeks prior to the separation, I panicked and thought, Are we playing God? God is perfection and always creates perfection. By separating the girls, were we playing God? I knew in my head it was too late to stop the process but boy did I think about it. I wanted God to loudly yell at me, ‘Emily, you are doing my will by separating the girls.’ He didn’t answer me audibly, I didn’t hear those words that day.
On October 9, I slowly walked the girls down the long hospital hall until I turned into the operating room where doctors and nurses where dressed in color coordinating scrubs for each of my daughters ‘ teams. I saw a sterile silver metal bed where I was to place them together for the last time. I laid the girls on the table and kissed them goodbye. At this point in time I knew I could be leaving this hospital with separated twins, or one baby or even worse, none. My husband and I slowly left the room and made our way up to the waiting room where family and friends greeted us.
At 10:02 am the doctors cut skin and there was no turning back.
And then one of the doctors came into to the waiting room and said, “ It was like God placed a dotted line for us to cut. There is no confusion between their bodies, we knew whose body was whose. It was like taking a hot knife to butter.” In this moment, I got my answer - I heard God loud and clear. We were doing the right thing.
Do you ever have those moments? Where you just know it is right? It is good?
After sixteen hours, we got to see our daughters on separate beds for the first time ever. Our love for caring for conjoined twins, aka our doublewide singleton, had ended and new normal began. A frightening new beginning but we were willing to try. Sometimes in life we must push through the obstacles and challenges in order to create and find a new normal to grow. Boy, have I grown.
Happy 18th sisterectomy day Lexi and Sydney!
PS to the fifty six doctors, nurses, and staff - with a grateful heart I will continue to say, thank you for perfection. Thank you - The Children’s Hospital of Denver and Kaiser Permanente.
